2013 in quotes

 The only way to overcome fear is to confront it. Pretending it doesn't exist, or might disappear one day, only made it worse. 

Oh my god. You've taken yourself hostage.

You can't spell "coral" without "oral", but I forgot why that's important.

Poison is a harsh word, I prefer "the potion of shut the fuck up"

The town is poor.
>The town is flammable.

I often give myself little gifts. Other people call it 'stealing'.

It's customary to kill the messenger, if the message is stabbing.

Incoherent fire dissipates all contingency.
>What does that even mean?
>Nothing. 

Indeed, why is the most interesting question, but often the one not asked. Where, when, how, and what are mere window dressing. Why is always the most important question. 

A good warrior will always take advantage of chance. He should adapt to the changing circumstances of battle. War is all about opportunity.

Look at a man without a past, and you will see a free man.

Evil can never be defeated. It can be held at bay for a time, but so long there is someone, it will exist.

A man may be dressed in all manner of fancy titles, but he must not let it change him or else ego, pride and ambition will be his undoing. To thineself be true. 

I'm still wondering how a canadian got here from the E.T.O(European Theater of Operation)
>I'm guessing it involved a boat.

If a tactic can be used against us, it can be used by us.

Force doubled is force squared.

You get out of jail. You don't get out of being dead.

Real power does not come from hate, but from truth.

Shut up, you're not helping!
>Actually, I think I am.

Killing is not a sin if you don't enjoy killing.

If that's a morse code, that was terrible.

Now that's you, obnoxious AND intolerable.

What's wrong with him?
>Everybody has a different theory.

Ah look, there's a sexually attractive line segment, you should totally hit on her.

Are we taking our relationship frustrations out on innocent Cylons?
>Not just Cylons, Superman's next.

And for the record, the appropriate ranking of cool modes of transportation is: jetpack, hoverboard, transporter, batmobile, and then a  giant ant.

How many times have I asked you not to do that?
>Counting this one, 317.

Your surprise confuses me. I live here.

Come on, where's your scientific curiosity?
>Most of it is being applied to unraveling the secrets of the universe while the rest is wondering why am I having this conversation with you.

Don't bother, I've wasted many an hour tilting at that particular windmill.

When faced with problems like this, I often turn to a greater power.
>Religion?
>Star Trek.

I don't know if you're following, but there's been many advancements in the field of torture lately.

Do you have any ethical qualms with human experimenting?
>It's one of the few forms of interaction with people I don't find repellent.

It'll be hell until they come back, and when they do, it'll be worse.

Tästä sirkuksesta puuttuu enää se perkeleen pyöräilevä karhu

Ranger vocabulary is full of four-letter words, but two of that aren't fail or quit.

Kollegani ei muistanut miten or mereltä selvinnyt, koska ei ollut vielä selvinnyt.

I'm not your fucking hermano!
>That's a subjective philosophical fucking point of view!

You have to be men who are moral... And at the same time be able to utilize their primordial instinct to kill without feeling.

Without passion.

Withour judgement.

Because it's judgement that defeats us.

Exitus Acta Probat (Outcome justifies the deed)

Gods' forgive me, I have seen the dark side of the internet and laughed, but I was not laughing now.

We all make choices, but in the end, our choices make us.

I think it involves helium and a chipmunk.

This one goes to eleven. Petawatts, in this case.

Surrender. Or not. That'll be more fun.

Stay alert. Being cold beats being dead.

You assume I give a damn. Cute.

Shoot him again. His soul is still dancing.

I said I'd do my best. Didn't say it would be any good.

I'm ready to punch someone and you're too close.

Those guys were a waste of skin. Scales. Whatever.

Sunsets are beautiful. Newborn babies are beautiful. This, this is fucking spectacular.

I wouldn't harm you for the world, but you're standing where I'm about to shoot.

It wouldn't hurt us. Well, it might.

Le diable marche avec nous.

You're covered in blood!
>Occupational hazard.

True art conceals by which it is achieved.

You are as perceptive as I am drunk.

He doesn't have to wake up, y'know. I have a laser. And we have garbage disposal.

I'm gonna go with "aerodynamically curvaceous".

This is important!-But why is it here?

Silloin kun downshiftaa tangopiireissä, mennään ojaan.

Älykäs pääsee pinteestä johon viisas ei koskaan joudu.

Well, you can't make an omelet without breaking some spines.

The old adage that in any war, the first casualty is the truth was never more apt than during a civil war.

Let tomorrow look after itself. Today we are alive. 

He's just too nice a guy, considering the amount of ways he knows how to kill people.

Ilo on meidän eikä pelastusarmeijan puolella.

One of the defining phrases of science: "This is a lot less interesting than I thought".

Any landing you walk away from is a good landing.

Do not mistake simple for stupid. Where are you meant to go?
>I don't know.
>>Then how do you know you aren't there already?

Pillun nälkä on hyvä tekosyy melkein kaikkeen tässä maailmassa.

I don't need luck, I have ammo.

Ei sinä sekoitat nyt, laivassa on hytit. Laiva seilailee järvellä ja sanoo SMOOOO, juna menee raiteilla ja sanoo tsuh tsuh.

The only explanation is that the Czech armories employ witch doctors full time

The enemy may attack from all four cardinal directions -- northeast, east, southeast and air.

Basically, this stuff is super awesome wizardry, no joke

Sitting on the porch minding your own business is the #1 cause of knife wounds. 

I call it smurf juice. Because if you drink it you see smurfs and then you die.

Bullets had names on them, shrapnel read "occupant" and didn't give a shit.

The World is not beautiful, and that, in a way, lends it some beauty; Therefore it is.

Minä katsoin heitä silmiin, ja siellä oli seinä. Ei sellaisia voi voittaa.

Demons run when a good man goes to war

Incendiaries make a small blast make a lot of things catch on fire - and spread shit like WP which will fuck up lungs and burn through skin and clothes, and Napalm - that good old liquefied goo that sticks to kids.

No, see, that doesn't help. It's like you were speaking perfect English and then lapsed into some obscure dialect of girlese.

Our culture doesn't get smarter, it just finds new ways of being retarded.

Yes! Rampaging bears are the answer to all of out cultural missteps!

Remember the rules, no murdering customers in the store. The back alley exists for a reason.

No, let him keep digging himself this hole. I want to see how people in China react to his stammering.

Oh, is that why the ASPCA keeps calling for you?
>Yeah, probably. You can ignore the phone calls from PETA though, there's no proof that the kitten was still alive when I chopped it's head off.

Fire, filth, and destruction? Clearly we are going to make good neighbors.

I can hear Stan Lee spinning in is grave and he's not even dead yet.

Man, I'd be the worst praying mantis ever. "Oh sure, you can bite my head off without mating me, I understand. You have ISSUES."

Threesomes are a lot like communism- they're a great idea on paper, but in reality they rarely work well.

Aw, boo! You're supposed to screw the Man! Screw him so hard he thinks he's a lady!
>I think the man is more interested in capitalism than gender play.

Oh come on. This isn't shooting a fish in a barrel, this is dropping a tactical nuke on a bucketful of carp.

It's like the black plague- best shared with friends.

A kind of Martha Stewart but heavily armed.

Glitter is the herpes of all crafting.

What else have I failed to notice today? Are my pants on backwards? Am I on FIRE? DID I KILL A GUY EARLIER?

A lot of things are better off non-sentient anyway. Can you figure what kind of counseling self-aware nuclear weapons would need?

Though I fly through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for I am at 80,000 feet and climbing

I've given you all torture implements known to man, short of a Neil Diamond album.

I'm certain it IS illegal to pass off real C4 as cocaine.

I only get endorphins from cookies and ice cream. It's a problem I have.

Just plain 'ol orneryness, I think. I like plotting downfalls. They make me feel... Tingly.

But for some reason, if you want to move a file from one supercomputer to a different supercomputer 5 feet away, you're going to need three different pieces of software, a special cable, and a fucking warlock to get it all to work.

The American M1A1 tank in its natural feeding ground, the oil-rich foreign country.

I don't have any special talents. I'm only passionately curious.

What doesn't kill me should have tried harder

DAMN YOU LINEAR CAUSALITY!!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!!

A toast! To the titties shrouded in the mists of time!

If wishes were fishes, we'd all cast nets.

Mood? What has mood to do with it? You fight when the necessity arises — no matter the mood! Mood's a thing for cattle or making love or playing the baliset. It's not for fighting

The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.

That which submits rules. The willow submits to the wind and prospers until one day it is many willows — a wall against the wind. This is the willow's purpose.

Any road followed precisely to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little bit to test that it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife — chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Dead or Alive uses more computer power to model Kasumi's breasts than NASA had for the moon landings. That's actually not a joke.

Tietäjät tietää, tunnistajat tunnistaa, kevan ukot hajoaa ja skapparit huutonauruitkee.

If it looks stupid and works, it's not stupid.

I practice awesome without a license

Mitä hevon harmonikkaa? Kai kusetat?

I'm so bad at shoplifting it's technically looting

I've summoned this elevator and mistaken myself for a necromancer.

I have traveled to the realm of death and brought back novelty pencils.

Waxing. Not a cure for Lycantrophy.

To make youe[sic] passing easier on loved ones, why not be an asshole your entire life?

I'm trying to crowdsource a really good fuck

Crying always makes me sad and sometimes it causes the death of loved ones

I come from a long line of dead people. No wonder I'm attracted to corpses.

The god of envy has a better temple than yours

I think you might be on fire but I'm not an expert

Straight from the fabulous nightmare of the glitter mines

Please express your sexual desire as an infographic. I understand little else

Sexual innuendo? I can keep it up all night.

I've got a medical condition. Actually, I guess it's more a fetish

A bad necromancer always blames the corpse

The ne'er do wells are doing quite well. For a change.

I never stopped loving you.Or started, to be honest

We're lousy fighters, great negotiators. Few invaders survive the terms of our surrender

How much more pathetic do I need to be before I start getting pity sex?

Shut the fuck up and get back in your popemobile

Pulling knobs opens doors

As the ghost of a sceptic I try to stay pretty quiet

Why are skeletons so angry?

It’s a bit like golf, but only a little bit

Sperm count down but sperm size up. I think they've been eating each other.

I have a secret. A dark, furry secret with big teeth. Less a secret, really- more a bear.

If all else fails, tear their face off then.

I'm certain that fucking your walls isn't a sound architectural process

Bolt action speaks louder than words

Sä oot kyllä yks vitun jeesus. Tai idiootti, mutta ne nyt on aika lähellä toisiaan.Olo oli sen verran kuvottava, että päässä soi flaamitrance.

Mutta älä minua ammu, en tykkää perkele.

”MINKÄ VITUN TAKIA FIKSUT ÄIJÄT PISTÄÄ KAIKEN LIKOON VAGINAN PERÄSSÄ?! MÄ EN YMMÄRRÄ TÄTÄ VITUN PASKAMAAILMAA!

Raamatussa ei puhuta näin rumista enkeleistä.

Mistä sä saat näitä ideoita?
>Katon aika paljon dokumentteja.
>>Dokumentteja Jörkasta?
>Kullinimemisestä kanssa.

Psyker runs screaming so he can die tired

Hammers are hard and heavy.  One of the basic tenets of society is that throwing hammers at your friends will rapidly result in not having friends.

If you only remember one thing about silicon moldmaking rubber, it's this: Silicone sticks to almost nothing except for more silicone.
And don't eat it.
Two things.  Dammit. 

Totta kai se toimii kun sen on insinööri laskenut, teknikko tehnyt ja maatuska sovittanut.

As far as pathogens go, friendship is pretty okay.

He's the wolf among lambs! The fox in the henhouse! The antipersonnel mine at the marching band convention!

Robot cussing centers around mashing on the homerow

Apparently the "Are you secretly a time-travelling viking" falls under the "don't ask-don't tell" agreement.

My maternal instinct is to eat my young.

Decorating idea: Put Mosin-Nagant inside glass box. Hang on wall. Label the box “Break In Case Of Wehrmacht.”

Who cares about first blood? As long as there is blood.