2017 in quotes

 Always do the bare minimum, because your best is too good.

Archaeologists are the only people allowed to get exited when they find corpses.

It can make malfunctions worse so therefore it does have a function.

They have not heard the song of our people (it goes blam, blam, blam, blam, blam, blam, blam, blam, PING)

Yes. My body is an engine that runs on wood alcohol, I have the worst knocking you've ever heard

You can make anything with a shaper except money

Tomorrow's unethical business practices, Today!

Trust me, I'm an amateur

Women are the reason I became a monk. And uh, the reason I switched back.

Hey, some people read the dictionary, others write it.

I am both happy and completely miserable. Without the happy part.

It's all fun and games until someone gets all their teeth pulled out

I'd like to believe that humanity as a whole is basically good.
Clearly, I am delusional

Fishing is really fucking boring. It's only redeeming feature is that you can
do it drunk and sitting down.

However, due to its fictitious nature, it can be difficult to obtain.

There’s a fine line between heroism and arson

The surgeon was ex-Army, and averaged about eight words and two facial
expressions a week

After it cools, it no longer fights back. You've broken its spirit, trashed
its vinyl record collection, and told it several abusive yo mama jokes.

Thanks to my über-clean habits, I get constant offers for kinky sex from the Techshop staff. Okay, not really, but they say thank you a lot and that's almost as good.

Is he mad?
>No, he's an asshole, it's an easy mistake.

Truth is as awful as death, but harder to find.

It ain't fear to do a difficult thing right.

Don't talk to me when I'm dying, kid.

Thanks for the lift. And the cancer.

Look, I'm all for killing who needs killing, but that's not going to make you
feel better.

Today is carried on the backs of countless yesterdays.

Memories are all we ever bury.

Suo, kuokka, ja hyi saatana.

Viskiä vai karhu? Siinäpä vasta kysymys.

Ei hehku, ei voi olla kuumaa!

All life begins in chaos and wailing.

False bravado gets you most of the way and stupidity will get you the rest.

If it still hurts, it's not that bad.

Reminders are important. They teach the value of the present.

It ain't the size of the yak, it's how you swing it.

So what do you desire?
>I don't know, I make my own stuff.

Fun's fun but who needs it.

Trust me, you don't want to know how many answers that question has.

Sika joka ei lennä on pelkkä sika.

They say never to hit a man with a closed fist but it is, on occasion, hilarious.

Looked bigger when I didn't see it.

Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. It happens.

Sitten kun tietää kuinka asia tehdään ja osaa tehdä niin, voi tehdä miten parhaaksi näkee.

It takes more than a few drinks to render my judgement blurry.

There's always time to get it right the second time.

You care for bourbon?
>Deeply.

Vitun mitoosisaabit.

Fun to play with, not really good for you.

And every day past the sadness shall be counted as happy days.

If given a chance between shitposting and a woman wearing a corset, choose corset.

Minkä takia artesaani ryyppää?
>Sillä ei ole sorvia millä tappaa itsensä

First you get good, then you get fast.

So here I sit, broken hearted,
Tried to poop, but only farted.

Ei se tunne kipua, se on kuollut sukupuuttoon.

You can drown in an inch of water.

If I had a flower every time I thought of you, I'd walk in my garden forever.

Finished, not perfect.
Perfect is the enemy of Good.
Creativity is intelligence having fun.

Dickery should be a function of justice only.

There are no coincidences of heart. The wounded, the incomplete, seek each other out.

I've tried harder than this to die.

If you know what hurts you, you know what hurts others.

When going gets tough, somebody hold my rodent!

Kuva kertoo tuhat kirosanaa.

Revenge is vanity.

I learn through denial and error.

Aina saa kärsiä ja viilata.

Nothing in the whole world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscious stupidity.

Some things never change. You always blow things up.
>I don't always blow things up!
>Right. Sometimes you also set things on fire.

Mistales were made.

The easy way is always mined.

If you make decisions based on fear, you are likely to be wrong.

Insertion into a white house ball, that would be an OPSEC thing. Getting you married is like fighting a land war in Asia. Even if everyone is involved, it'd still likely be a failed campaign.

I'm engaged. Idiocy kinda comes with the territory.

We are not, and never have been, in the business of dying for money.

Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. Eventually everything either is or isn't.

+1 Spoon of sharpness

As a former and current murderer, I can clearly tell you aren't repairmen.

...Mutta eihän sukellusvenemies osaa uida.

To be honest, I don't speak moron.

Käjet pois taskusta, ei se haittaa vaikka kaikki sormet on eri mittaisia.

More delta, more better.

Aleksin osoite on tuollapäin.

Meidän äiti juo teidän äitien juomat.

Starboard!
No, the other starboard!

That's the problem, I'm an idiot!

This was a while ago, didn't even have dirt, it was all rocks.

Need is a strong word. We need doorstops, even though a brick would do as well.

Miten sä näät?
>Mulla on pitkät silmät.

Gold greases palms, builds empires and instigates murder.

Raha ja lahjonta alkaa siitä mihin marxilaisuus loppuu.

Without tools of iron, you must rely on flesh.

Now be a good whatever the hell you are and run along.

Nothing ruins a good spot like people.

My singing voice is only suitable for silent theater.

Bravery is being the only one who knows you are afraid.

You can't spell "wanton destruction" without "bumblefuckery"

This thing, it thrives on abuse and neglect. That's what I tell myself, anyway.

Software that doesn't suck doesn't exist.

I don't understand. What did I do that warrants this much arresting?

Road laws, prepare to be ignored!

Jos koneessa on öljyä sisällä, niin sitä on myös päällä.

Hullulla on aina hauskaa kun joku paikka pyörii.

What's a pirate's favourite letter? You think it be R, but nay, we love the C.

He's complaining, so he must be fine.

Tunnelma on kellarin katossa.

Lapset palaa parhaiten, niissä on vettä vähiten!

In the end, every plan relies upon a strong arm and tempred steel.

What is necessary is never unwise.

Close enough is close enough, I make props, not missile parts.

Kyllä minä joka aamu laitan kynsilakkaa silmäripsiin.

Nyrkki perseessä- Se muuttaa miestä.

Menneisyys ei ole tapahtunut turhaan vaikka siitä jäisi jäljelle pelkkä muisto.

Rakkaus on outoa polttoainetta.

Like every great story of history, ours begins at the lathe.